damnwankers

the Wankers Christina Aguilera and Back to Basics

2006-09-05T09:25:12Z

the Wankers Christina Aguilera and Back to Basics

Alright, we have recieved a lot of emails regarding this issue, so we thought we would address it.
So as some of you may or may not know Christina Aguilera has recently released an album intitled "Back to Basics"
We got together with Ms. Christina Aguilera andspoke to hear about the name and our proir self debut release. To show there were no hard feelings Christinad agreed to apear on our title track "Back To Basics"
We have reuploaded it on MySpace, we think she did a very nice job and encourage you to check it out for yourself.
You can find it on http://www.myspace.com/wor
Whack Off Records -Back to Basics
Enjoy
-the Wankers

WankersRingtones For Your Phone?!?!?!

2006-08-29T04:52:24Z

That's Right Now you can download your favorite Wankers Song Right to Your phone. How You ask? I Have No Idea How It Works, But I know It's Possible though our New Site: http://www.decentx.com/thewankers

There you will find All your Favorite Wankers Tunes, Or What we think are your FavoriteTunes. Is there A Wankers Song you really Like But We Don'tHave It Posted. Shoot Us an Email and I'll Upload it ASAP. Thanks!!..............Ha Ha

Click the Link Below To See What We Mean.

http://www.artist.decentx.com/ecard.asp?s=2&id=487

the Wankers are back to Rockin

2006-08-16T23:00:09Z

Alright So the Wankers are getting back together.

First Thing is First. Pat is officially not coming back, he hasn't actually told us this himself. But since it's been like four months, we figured he quit. Oh well, Zach has been doing great and shows more enthusiasm than any other maember of the band, hopefully it will last. He even passes out flyers, imagine that, passing out fliers for your own band. WOW

Ok Anyways we are geting the shit back together, playing tighter then ever. We have been playing a lot of shows, tryin to get out of town more often. got a couple good shows comin up, with our good friends from TUBRING and possibly a show with MUSTARD PLUG? We are even putting together a "Heartland of America Tour!" where we will hit just major cities in OHIO. YES!

Stay tuned

Live Acoustic Recording From Waif 88.3

2006-04-15T18:57:48Z

Here is the live acoustic set from the Waif show last Wednesday morning.
Bootlegged and Uploaded by www.WhackOffRecords.com
It's a little noisy and a few of the mics are hot, but what else is new, hey is was live acoustic. I think people are banging on everything but a kitchen sink to make noise. I thought it was cool.
Check it out:
http://www.whackoffrecords.com/97WOR/Track12.mp3

the wankers Live on Waif Radio Tueday Night

2006-04-07T18:17:03Z

We will be guest hosting on "Speak of Diablo". Late night talk and music show, on Waif 88.3 in Cincinnati, Ohio. I believe the show airs from 2-4 am. check out their site at http://www.dreamwater.org/diablo

Don't live in Cincinnati? You can listen to Waif live at http://www.waifstream.com/

So turn in, cause not even we are entirely sure what will happen. Love,
the Wankers

He's Back Bitch

2006-04-07T05:04:41Z

He's Back Bitch
So for some time there has been talk of letting Jeremy, our keyboard playa, return to the band. After all we loved the sound he providedand and well, everyone deserves a second chance.

After having a seriuos talk with the reverend, and having him play the last two shows, we decided that we miss him and what he does. He assures us he is all about the band and just needed some time to think things though.

So in short Jeremy is back on the Keys baby. Rock.

And on that note

April 12th
Cincy Punk Presents:
the Poison Room
5th and Plum
DownTown, Cincinnati, OH
w/ Kid Gib (Canada)
EataFetus Trio, Deranged Gerbils, and Jonah
$4 21+ $5 18+
show starts at 8:30

Still Rollin.

2006-03-17T19:12:37Z

Alright, the last show at TopCat's was pretty cool. Even though we didn't play till frickin 1:00 clock in the morning. Oh well we still Rocked some Socks off. People dug it, even though Ryan Wanker needs a new guitar. "Jonuh" Rocked! look forward to playing with them again.
Oh yeah. Lou decided to stay an extra week in Peru, so the dumbass missed the show. It was cool though we had John Pauly from "A Present Day Nightmare" sit in. He did pretty good, considering we didn't practice with him at all. Check them out
So thanks to him for helping us out. we were going to use "Digi Lou v. 2" but we decided not to.
Alright So Keeping this ball a rollin with some shows in April. So forget about the April Showers, and come Rock with us!

April 5th
the Mad Frog
1 E. McMillian, Corryville, OH
w/ Rally Six
and two other local bands
$5 18+
show starts at 9:30

April 12th
Cincy Punk Presents:
the Poison Room
5th and Plum
DownTown, Cincinnati, OH
w/ Kid Gib (Canada)
EataFetus Trio and Jonah
$4 21+ $5 18+
show starts at 9:30

the Wankers are good to Go

2006-01-21T06:49:05Z

Alright, howdy everyone. Friends, Family, and Fans of the Wankers. Hope Everyone had a great Holiday. Ours was pretty crazy.
We had a few minor set backs, which I will go into, that set us a bit out of the loop.Lots of stuff to report, i know we aren't the best with keeping people up to date via the interenet.
And as we all know it's been a really long time since we have sent out out a group email. We have been sticking to News postings on the site and Bullenteins on MySpace. Mainly because it's rather diffucult to send bulk emails though our normal yahoo account, it keeps thinking we are spaming people. Where would they get a crazy idea like that?
So we decide to take some peoples advice and build a wankers yahoo group page.
Rock Your Socks Off! Click the link to check it out and join.
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/rockyoursocksoff
This way we can send out emails to everyone at once and fans can send group emails to each other. So go check out the group home page, post a message, become a member, share files and photos, view show calendar events, check out links, create group polls, and more. It's all easy to use. Just go to the group home page now:
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/rockyoursocksoff and this will keep it so much easier to send out emails and let all members know what's going on. So check it out, because like I said we well be mainly posting emails though the group page and we don't want you to miss out.
Thanks

Alright down to buisness. As some of you may or may not know, Ryan Wankers has been in recovery for some time with a broken jaw. His mouth has been wired shut since Thanksgiving making it diffucult for him to sing. Thus, no shows.
But we are happy to report that Ryan has had all the wires removed this week. So he'll start getting movement back soon and maybe he will learn how to sing. We are going to start practicing and hopefully be playing shows again in the next couple of weeks. So anyone that could help us out with a show. That would be awesome, seeing as how we have fallen out of the loop. It's been a while and we are itching to get back out there and Rock your Friggin Socks Off!

And on that night I just wanted to remind you that the wankers debt full length, No Need For A Solo... It's Back to Basics, has been pressed and is availble online at www.interpunk.com
15 Tracks of High Energy Rock N' Roll. This Abulm is a long running effort to express our many musical tastes, but still maintain the high energy involved in our live shows. Spanning 60's Style Fuzz and Organs with the bizzare melodic screams of a highly modulated guitar this album will "Rock your Socks off!"
We will more than likely be having a "cd release show", since we never did. That way who can get the cd pretty cheap too.
Live in the Cincy area:
You can also pick up Wankers albums at these Cincy based record stores:
Phil's Music Books and More
4307 Winston Ave. Covington, Ky 41015 (859)431.7774
Everybody's Records
6106 Montgomery Rd. Hyde Park, Oh 45213 (513)531.4500
Shake It Records
4156 Hamilton Ave. Northside, Oh 45223 (513)591.0123
Cd/Game Exchange
2601 Vine St. Clifton, Oh 45219 (513)281.2006
Moles Music
111 Calhon St. Clifton, Oh 45219 (513)861.6291
Wizard's Music and Movies
2940 Markbreit Ave. Hyde Park, Oh 45209 (513)351.5500
Cd Warehouse
1657 E. Kemper Rd. Tri-County, Oh (513)772.3472

And of course all albums are available online at www.interpunk.com.
Thanks for taking the time to read this. Go check out the yahoo group.

Spreadin Jam like a butter knife.
-the Wankers

IDGF on WAIF Radio

2006-01-11T22:05:21Z

idgf underground on WAIF radio (correction)

Thats right the man that recorded the Wankers debut full length will be showcasing local cincy bands.

On Thursday, Jan. 12th IDGF will be going on WAIF (88.3 FM) radio showcasing 15 years of recordings from local Cincinnati Bands. Bands that He has recorded ranging from Rock, Classical, Acoustic, Punk, Hardcore, Straight Edge and Metal. The name of the show is called "Kindred Sanction" and it airs 8:00pm to 10:00pm (EST).
To anyone outside of Cincinnati can hear the show on live stream. Just log onto www.waifstream.com and you can go from there.
Thanx and I hope you can listen in and support your local scene.

g4ste and the Wankers
idgf underground

Merry Christmas

2005-12-25T03:46:16Z

Well Happy Holidays. Not much to Report check out some funny shit:

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v368/AllysinnChaynez/MYSPACE/santawiggles.gif

Anyways just thought we would let you know what the holiday seasons have brought forth. Sorry but not too much, but bad luck. We're not sure if to many of you know but at our last out of town show, Ryan Wanker got in a Bar Brawl and got his Jaw Wired shut. So he missed Turkey Day, and will be missing X-Mas and New Years. For those of you who don't know Ryan, he's weighin in at about a buck forty five and has lost a least twenty ponuds since then. So He's fading away and is about to kill for a cheeseburger.

And the good news keep rollin on, Big Pat, has recently had a foot operation and has been un able to move for the past three weeks. Stop... Hammer Toe. .. So I know we suck we haven't been doing shit, but we are are Wankers.

So in the mean time check out other Wankers Projects and albums we've been workin on. Don't worry we will be back and Rockin soon.

"Spreadin Jam Like A Butter Knife"

http://www.myspace.com/theeukanubajesuseses

Matt and Jeremy - the Eukanuba Jesuseses (Rock and or Roll)

www.myspace.com/frofa
Lou From Peru and Ryan Wanker- Future Rapists of America (they'll drink your daugther and knock up your whiskey)

http://www.myspace.com/typea

SynthMaster Jeremy - Type A Music (crazy, awesome, stuff)

http://www.myspace.com/deadrobotarmy

Lazy Ass Destroyer (not just any cracker, but the RITZ)

Here are some of the albums we have been fuckin around with for a while....

Surf Cincinnati- ska surf plus new recordings of older songs with keys.
ChodeHouse - Live Recording w/ Rick Johnsons Rock and Roll Machine
Odds and Sods - Cover Album recorded at ShackRock.Need More! Check Out

Much needed facts and side projects

2005-10-30T19:44:06Z

Alright, we just wanted to clear a few things up since the last time we sent out any updates. The facts are as some of you may or may not know: We have lost are Keyboard player, but to my understanding he wil still be recording on a few projects we are working on. There was talk of him coming back, but I'm not entirely sure what's going on with that at this point in time?
Matt has not quit the band, he has played the last four shows we've had without the keyboard player. And he says he's not quitting anytime soon?
We are taking a break for the holidays and are working on other projects and recordings. Check them out.

Surf Cincinnati- ska surf plus new recordings of older songs with keys.
ChodeHouse - Live Recording w/ Rick Johnsons Rock and Roll Machine
Odds and Sods - Cover Album recorded at ShackRock.

We will keep you posted as far as shows and projects.

Need More! Check Out Members of the Wankers in Other Musical Projects on MYSPACE!!!

http://www.myspace.com/theeukanubajesuseses
Matt and Jeremy - the Eukanuba Jesuseses (Rock and or Roll)

http://www.myspace.com/frofa
Lou From Peru and Ryan Wanker- Future Rapists of America (they'll drink your daugther and knock up your whiskey)

http://www.myspace.com/typea
SynthMaster Jeremy - Type A Music (crazy, awesome, stuff)

http://www.myspace.com/deadrobotarmy
Lazy Ass Destroyer (not just any cracker, but the RITZ

Well Good bye Jeremy and the Keyboards?

2005-09-04T18:46:22Z

So after a year or so with the Wankers Jeremy Hensley, our keyboard player, has decide to call it quits.
For those of you who are unaware of Jeremy you can check him out at http://www.damnwankers.com/thecrew/jeremy.html and see his old bio before I redo it and move it to the old crew section. Jeremy was very dedicated for the most part, euthiastic, and above all, very talented. He will be missed and we wish him the best in all he does.
Check out his other projects: Eukanuba Jesus, Dancing in Isolation, and Type A
This is a surprise to all of us, but in a way we saw it coming. The wankers have seen many members come and go though the years, hey we are not the Wankers for nothing, but we have stride to bring you old school rock. With out all fancy string attached.
We are debating whether or not to replace him, seeing as how we wrote all the songs with out a keyboard in the first place, and get back to the old school? I don't know I leave this to you the people to decide. I like keyboards, but it seems at times they were a little much, no need to play all the time, and we found ourselves not playing a lot of our older songs.
So let us know what you think about this. Keyboards bad or good? You be the judge?

A Review from Cincy Punk

2005-09-01T03:43:05Z

The Wankers - No Need for a Solo...
by Justin Dennis on Tuesday 30 August 2005

Band: The Wankers
Album: No Need for a Solo…It’s Back to Basics
Release Date: June 2005
Record Label: Independent
Web-site: http://www.damnwankers.com/

Image: http://www.damnwankers.com/merchandise/noneedcover.jpg
No Need for a Solo... It's Back to Basics

The Wankers challenge to bring together the sounds of almost every genre imaginable with their debut LP No Need for a Solo…It’s Back to Basics. Five musical minds express the fun in rock n’ roll that has somehow lost its potency among today’s compositions.

Throughout this acrobatic album you might notice a somewhat sturdy attempt to teach us not to take ourselves too seriously. Most have labeled them “Space Punk” and “Spunge Rock”, but there really is no classification for such a wide range of tastes combined into a single band.

Image: http://damnwankers.com/miscbackgrounds/thewankers.jpg
The Wankers

No need for commercial consideration or marketing meetings because these boys know how to get back to the roots of why rock is raw and untamed. High energy and good intentions seep from these lads with the satisfaction of creating something different in a world of redundancy. Exploration and experimentation in lo-fi surroundings are what they provide through this project without explanations.

The Wankers are not only good for a taste of something a little off-kilter, but as well as supporting the music scene at its most basic form.

Hear It: http://www.myspace.com/thewankers

Written By: Justin Dennis

Rating: 73%

A Tragedy in the Family

2005-08-07T22:28:31Z

A Tragedy in the Family of Coven and Crazy D,a Great, Funny, Hard Core Partying, Hip Hop Group. the Wankers have played with them before, this comes from an email From City Mouse:

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v27/golly/DSC00239.jpg

At our first stop on tour, our tourmate Hunter (Coven from Coven & Crazy D) drowned in Chicago. We love and miss him so much. It's still hard to fathom that something could go so wrong. We're back home now. We will not be continuing the tour as there is a lot of arrangements to be made and all attention will be devoted to his son and other family for the time being. The following is coverage from the Lexington Herald Leader and the Chicago Tribune.
Herald Leader
Posted on Sat, Aug. 06, 2005

Richmond hip-hop artist found dead
By Ashlee Clark
HERALD-LEADER STAFF WRITER

The body of a member of a Richmond hip-hop duo was found early yesterday in the Chicago River.
Hunter Whitaker, 25, of Richmond, was found dead by the Chicago Fire Department at 5:50 a.m. yesterday off Lakeshore Drive, said Sgt. Robert Cargie, a news affairs officer with the Chicago Police Department.
The cause of Whitaker's death will not be known until a medical examiner's investigation is complete, Cargie said.
Whitaker and Richmond resident David Webster performed as the comedic gangsta rap group Coven and Crazy D.
They had been on a U.S. tour with a Lexington punk-pop group, City Mouse. The first stop on their tour was Thursday at The Studio in Chicago.
Coven and Crazy D's music had been compared to rap groups the Beastie Boys and The Bloodhound Gang. The duo released an album, Gangsters and Busters, on the Berea- and Lexington-based Eugene Records label this summer.
"This is a terrible, terrible thing -- Hunter was a really great guy and had a lot of friends that will sorely miss him," said a post on the Eugene Records Web site.

*********************************

Rescuers pull body from Belmont Harbor
Tribune staff reports
Chicago Tribune
Published August 5, 2005, 4:03 PM CDT

Chicago firefighters early this morning recovered the body of a man who apparently drowned while swimming in Belmont Harbor, CLTV reported.
The victim was identified as Hunter Whitker, 23, CLTV reported. His address was not immediately available.
Whitker was walking with five or six friends along the North Side harbor early today when he decided to jump into the water for a swim, authorities said.
The friends called for help when he disappeared.
Firefighters recovered Whitker's body shortly before 6 a.m., CLTV reported. The man was taken to Illinois Masonic Hospital, where he was pronounced dead.
If confirmed as a drowning, it would be the second this week along the city's Lake Michigan shore. The previous drowning occurred late Wednesday.
Jonathan Vroman, 19, of the 2100 block of North Sawyer Avenue, was walking with friends along the lake shortly before midnight that evening and decided to go swimming.
Vroman jumped into the lake from a breakwater near Pratt Beach, 1050 W. Pratt Blvd. on the city's North Side. Friends called 911 when Vroman did not reappear.
Fire and police rescuers pulled the man from the water about an hour after he vanished and took him to St. Francis Hospital, Evanston, where he was pronounced dead.
The Cook County medical examiner's office determined Vroman died of drowning. The man's mother said she believed her son had been drinking with his friends before the accident.
Tribune wire services contributed to this story.

Wow.

2005-07-11T11:12:20Z

Alright I'm sorry I know I need to update some news every once in a while. But there is not much to report, things have been slow in WankerLand. Up in till recently we were hardly ever practicing, just playing shows here and there. With usually a different line up, depending upon you could or couldn'y make it.

We got off our asses and joined the battle for Warped Tour. To our surprise we placed first in the Semi Finals and move on to the Finals on July 20th. at Sudsy Malones. So maybe the wankers will get some local exposure, since we all know we don't get out of town much. Oh well, I guess my boys are wankers after all.

Check out the shows to see what we get in to next. www.damnwankers.com/where

Fresh Fresh... We keep it Fresh

2004-12-10T06:42:04Z

Happy Holidays from the Wankers, we have decided to re-mix two of the songs that are available to you for download, "Constantly Talking Shit" and "Back to Basics".
So our gift to you is two fresh songs to hold you over while we finish this peice up, "Freudian Slip"</font>, "Can't Get You"</font>,
These two songs will be available through out the Holiday season.
To download a song simple right click over the song title and save as.

New Compilations w/ the Wankers

2004-11-18T06:24:11Z

Just thought you might like to know about a couple of new comps that just came out featuring music from yours truley, the Wankers::

Foot in Mouth Productions Presents the Music of Ohio Vol 2:
http://discountpunk.com/index.htm
http://www.geocities.com/fimpakron/

Flap Jack Promotions: Self Rising Vol 2:
http://www.interpunk.com/item.cfm?Item=58810&
http://flapjackpromotions.com/

Luv ya,
the Wankers

Crim's Benifit, Pat's Wedding, and Retard-O-Bot, Screaming Monkey Boner, and Sump Pumps

2004-10-27T19:00:28Z

Well Here we go again, let me start off by saying Happy Halloween, cause we both know I won't be updating this again for some time. We had a crazy past two weeks. Weddings, Benifits for Lost friends, and some out of town gig in Bloomington.
Ok So perhaps we better start from the begining: As I mentioned before a dear friend, and founder of the HooseGow, passed away on Sept 28th. http://pg.photos.yahoo.com/ph/thedamnwankers/detail?.dir=6d87&.dnm=a0dd.jpg
We had a benifit show for him in the good ol' Trenton Fish Club. It was good times for the most part, all of Crim's favorite local bands, which he help support in his time. Performances from Nimbo, Rash, Rise to Defeat, Subversion, and special guest performance by Slim Jim and the Sun Shine Riders. Good Times, very sad, especially when the chick who set up the show said she had no idea who we were, oh well. I still had a fun even tough nobody paid much attention to us, I think people forgot the real reason we were there. Stupid Cliques!
As some of you may or may not know Pat got married on Oct 23rd in beautiful Gatlinburg, Tn. to Becky Young, a great girl, their personalities are so similaar it's scary, they are good for each other.It was a small wedding in the woods, very nice. I drove home thought the Smokies into N. Carolina, Breath Taking. Anyways we had Pat's batchlour party at Sudsy Malones with Etheral, Gerald's Rainbow, and Moot. Pat got so wasted, cause he never drinks, there was a great crowd there to welcome him to Man Hood. Pat brought a pedal board for his Bass, so this time he was the one making all the noise. Sorry Matt. He even stuck around for the whole show, the bartenders had to make us leave, cause they were trying to close. He consumed a shit load of Jello Shot's and got a Record autographed by Hewey Lewis, Ha Ha. I got hima book intitled "How to Make Love to a Woman", in which he replied "Finally!" But not to worry if you missed it, we got it all on tape , which we will release as "There's no more room for Jello"
Got to go to work, I'll be back to finish this up, Later

Update finally

2004-10-09T01:14:55Z

Alright after a lot of complaints, I have uploaded more pics on the site. There are a shit load more in the Crew Folder http://pg.photos.yahoo.com/ph/thedamnwankers/album?.dir=6d87
I also made direct links to individual photos which can be accessed though http://www.damnwankers.com/who
I know I still need to update many parts of the site, like the fliers and show reviews, but hey we are Wankers
If any one else has any pics, please email to us.
Love ya,
the Wankers

What a Crazy Weekend

2004-09-30T22:12:19Z

Indeed, last week was fun, interesting and over all pretty crazy.
Well Friday night the Wankers got to play MidPoint Music Fest (http://www.mpmf.com) Fun times were had by all. There were a lot of people there, they seemed to dig it, they say we played well. But there was a weird feeling in the air, maybe it was just me and my multiple layers of clothes, making it hot as shit, but the feeling wasn't there. I don't believe we lived up to our normal on stage performances. But Fun none the less. We played with some great bands: Oxymoronatron from Dayton, a crazy band from Boston named Flutter, they were amazing, they are going some where. With electric Xylophones and a Cello, they on stage performance was amazing, I didn't know whether to drop acid or fall in love?
All right Saturday night is when the shit got Crazy. We played a cd release show for a Foot In Mouth Music of Ohio Comp(http://www.geocities.com/fimpakron) that just came out, featuring bands from Columbus, Akron, Cincinnati, Toledo, and Columbus. I'll be putting some copies in Phil's and Everybody's Rec.
Well everything was great, except us showing up late, oh well, were wankers. Plus we were drunk as shit off the cooler of beer we brought with us. We played great, thanks to Jeremy for backing me up on vocals, people dug the shit out of us. Much weed smoked and we lot of great bands from all over Ohio, which we will be bringing to the Nati soon. Anyways so we leave and all was going good until we stopped for gas and the van wouldn't start. Well at least Jeremy got his Biscuits and Gravy..Ha Ha.. So we got a jump, cause we figured the battery had died from leaving the radio on. Get a jump, take of on the road about 70 miles from Columbus still left to go. I'm driving and sense their are no lights on the streets, I notice the headlights getting dimmer and dimmer. Shit . It's 3 in the morning and I can't see a damn thing, driving down the highway, doing 60 mph
So we pull in to, of all place to be stranded, a Truck Stop. "Prepare to See Crazy Shit I thought". So we pull in to check out the situation, and sure enough as soon as we slow down, the engine dies. ..and does not start back up. Lou's thinks maybe it will help if we just let it sit and don't try to start it for a while. Yeah ok? Lou the fuckin Alternator is dead, that's why the battery didn't recharge while we were driving and that's why we had no fucking headlights. So were screwed, not even to Columbus yet, trying to call people and wake them up, thank god Jeremy brought his cell phone. Thanks Mom.
Eventually a car pulled into the Truck Stop, and we all ran over to his car, must have scared the shit out of the guy..Ha Ha...We explain to him our situation and it just so happens he's going to Columbus, sweet we got People in Columbus, we're we can chill and try to figure out what we are going to do. So he gives us a jump, so we have enough juice to get it on the road, and we follow him to Columbus, guiding ourselves off his headlights. Seriously if I even tried to turn the headlight on the engine would back fire, bigger than shit, it sucked we were scared. Anyways sorry for rambling, got to Columbus, like we thought it was the Alternator, replaced it got back to Cincy on Sunday. Matt was pissed cause we missed work. Don't you wish you could have been there Pat, you missed a great time....
....And to top it off, we just found out one of our good friends, Crim (John), http://pg.photos.yahoo.com/ph/thedamnwankers/detail?.dir=6d87&.dnm=a0dd.jpg founder of the Hoosegow in Middletown died. So we will be planning a show for him. RIP my friend, these next few beers are for you.